THE HILLARIOUS BLOOD-LETTING IN AMAR AKBAR ANTHONY // 'GOD ALLAH AUR BHAGWAAN'- GOVERNMENT NE TAINU KAR DENA BAN

I have come across many examples of audience-manipulating scenes in my life- the kind where vast stretches of film would be dedicated to the sole purpose of making the audience cuddle-up in their seats, and sob- like babies in wet napkins. Tear-jerkers like "Koi hai? Gaadi roko, bhai", "Mere paas maa hai", and "Itna sannaata kyon hai, bhai?" immediately spring to memory.

The 'Numero Uno" status on my list, however, is reserved for one of the unintentionally hilarious closing scenes of "Amar Akbar Anthony", where the 'low-on-blood' mother ends up receiving blood transfusion from... WAIT... all her three sons. AT THE SAME TIME.

I don't know the exact medical terminology for this kind of miracle, but to call it the "Mother" of all blood transfusions wouldn't be far off the mark.

If Freud were alive, he would have a field day discussing the latent, but obvious Oedipal craving the sons have for their mother. There she lay, the Queen Bee, sucking on the veins of  the fruit of her flesh... okay, enough of the nauseating imagery.

The first time I saw this movie, I was a twiddling kid in shorts. When this scene played out, my attention wasn't drawn to the 'angry, young man' Amitabh Bacchan, 'live-wire' Rishi Kapoor, or 'Greek God' Vinod Khanna. And no, it wasn't drawn towards the mother, either. 

Rather, (and quite strangely) it was drawn towards the doctor. I thought- "WOW, maaaan... Did he just hook up three donors to one recipient or what... Blood donation charts be damned!. Whadda badass..."

The historic "foursome" blood transfusion scene from 'Amar Akbar Anthony'

I suspect that after seeing this movie, Rajesh Roshan had naughtily fantasised of  a situation where the mother gets knocked-up for a fourth time after this epic blood donation. What would the resultant child be? I think he had been carrying the idea in his subconscious for long enough before he finally released it from his system by composing a song, which is probably in line for being the 'Most Cringe-inducing Song of the Decade'- "God, Allah aur Bhagwaan- sabne banaya ek insaan."

I understand product-placement in movies to gain financial benefits, but using religion to gain profit-based mileage is, by me, the cheapest and loudest thing to hit Earth since Dolly Bindra's pink turban. And this song in question, it's not just a song- it is a time-machine back to the horrid times of the "naughty eighty" where lyricists like P.K Mishra used to write subtle lines of poetry such as- 

"Teri galiyon mein koi mard na chodunga, aurat bhi na chodunga"
"Kashtiya bhi lad gayi, mastiyaan bhi mil gayee"
"Latka dikha diya humne, jhatka laga diya tumne"